I cannot make this stuff up!

So... Hope has reached a new frustration level. We were working on her addition facts and she got upset because she "wishes she already knew them, but she doesn't". Nice, huh? How do I work with this? I know, I know...I can hear my mom saying now "she sounds just like you"...especially when she just told me (1) she is tired of being a kid (2) she wants to grow up faster (3) she wants to be perfect and that is why she gets upset when she messes up (as in when she wrote the number 14, the 1 and the 4 were too close together). I said there is only 1 person who is perfect and she said God. No wait, it is Jesus. I told her yes and then she said why do you say God and Jesus, but only 1 person? Now...how do I go about explaining the trinity to a five year old? Hope did get her report card yesterday and it was great! I am very proud of her!
Hunter has this obsession with nipples...his own nipples. He rubs them when you change his shirt and says "ipple...ipple". It is too funny! Craig had to take him to the doctor on Friday (yep,back on breathing treatments) and when they stripped him to weigh him, he started rubbing his nipples. The doctor (mind you, it was not our usual Dr. Dale, it was the other doctor-a female) asked what he was doing and Craig told her...rubbing his nipples. She just covered her face and shook her head.
Seriously....I can't make this stuff up!